Five phases, clearly structured. What happens in each phase, how long a procedure takes, what it costs, what you should bring.
Preliminary conversation · Collection of issues · Clarification of interests · Options · Evaluation · Agreement
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Preliminary conversation and mediation contract
Before the mediation itself, we clarify in a preliminary conversation whether the procedure is suitable for your situation. We discuss the matter at hand, the ground rules, confidentiality, my role, and the approximate cost framework.
At the beginning of the mediation, a mediation contract is signed. It records: what is being mediated? Which rules apply? What happens to the information shared in the mediation? Confidentiality is the foundation of the procedure.
1
Collection of issues
Both sides name what they want to talk about. Without judgment, without prior decision. All issues are recorded and made visible — on a board, a flipchart, a shared document.
The collection of issues is more than an agenda. It makes the scope of the dispute tangible — and it often reveals already at this stage: what appears as a single dispute consists in truth of many individual issues that can be resolved in different ways.
2
Clarification of interests
Behind every demand stands an interest, a need. Whoever says "I want the house" may mean "I want security for the children". Whoever insists on their share may mean "I want to be recognised for what I have contributed".
In this phase, the visible is set aside and the situation beneath it is explored. What is truly at stake for each side? Which needs must be met so that a solution will hold?
3
Developing options
Only once the interests have been clarified does the search for solutions begin — deliberately without immediate evaluation. The aim is to put as many options on the table as possible, including unconventional ones, including those that may initially appear unrealistic.
Experience shows: solutions that truly hold are seldom the obvious ones. They often emerge only once the space of possibility has been opened wide enough.
4
Evaluation and selection
From the options developed, those are selected that are viable for all sides. The test is: does the solution meet the interests previously surfaced? Is it realistically implementable? Does it hold under changed circumstances?
This is also the moment to discuss consequences — what happens if one side does not abide by the agreement? Which mechanisms should take effect?
5
Agreement
The solution you have arrived at together is set down in writing. Depending on the matter, the final agreement may be reviewed by a lawyer, notarised, or recognised by a court.
A well-drafted mediation agreement is concrete, verifiable, and contains provisions for the case that circumstances change. It is not a poem of peace, but a working document that holds.
Duration, costs, and setting
Duration per session
Usually 90 to 180 minutes
Number of sessions
Typically two to six, depending on complexity
Total duration
A few weeks to several months
Fee
Hourly rate or flat fee; agreed transparently in advance
Who bears the costs
Usually shared equally among the parties
Location
Neutral room in Stuttgart or online setting; in exceptional cases on site
What you should bring
Willingness to engage. Mediation works only when both sides genuinely want the procedure. Whoever attends merely to convince the other side, or to buy time, will not get far.
Confidentiality. What is said in the mediation stays there. This rule applies to the mediation itself, but also between the parties — what the other side discloses will not be used elsewhere.
Time. Mediation requires session length and intervals between sessions in which what has been discussed can mature. Whoever wants to force a solution within a single session misunderstands the procedure.
Openness to self-determination. The mediator does not decide for you. They lead the procedure in which you decide for yourselves. That is the strength of the procedure — and its demand.